在簡歷中切不可出現的致命的大錯

　　Finished8thinmyhighschoolgraduatingclassof10.

　　Qualifications:Noeducationorexperience.

　　Iamrelativelyintelligent,obedientandloyalasapuppy.

　　Mycompensationshouldbeatleastequaltomyage.

　　ReasonforLeaving:IthadtodowiththeIRS,FBIandSEC.

　　FiredbecauseIfoughtforlowerpay.

　　Sizeofemployer:Verytall,probablyover65.

　　Pleasedisregardtheenclosedresume-itisterriblyoutofdate.

　　ReasonforLeaving:Mybosssaidtheendoftheworldisnear.

　　ReasonforLeaving:Theownergavenewmeaningtothewordparanoia.Iprefertoelaborateprivately.
在簡歷中不能有打字或者語法的錯誤

　　Herearemyqualificationsforyoutooverlook.

　　Strengths:Abilitytomeetdeadlineswhilemaintainingcomposer.

　　Iamarabidtypist.

　　WorkHistory:Performedbrainwavetests,1879-1981.

　　Afterreceivingadvicefromseveraldifferentangels,Ihavedecidedtopursueanewlinenbsp;ofwork.

　　Accountingcleric.

　　Asindicted,Ihaveoverfiveyearsofexperienceanalyzinginvestments.

　　Suspectedtograduateearlynextyear.

　　Disposedof$2.5billioninassets.

　　Provenabilitytotrackdownandcorrecterors.

　　Accomplishments:Oversightofentiredepartment.

　　Amaperfectionistandrarelyififeverforgetdetails.

　　Accomplishments:Completed11yearsofhighschool.

    在簡歷中不應出現的的幽默

　　Note:Keepthisresumeontopofthestack.Useallotherstoheatyourhouse.

　　Assistedindailypreparationoflargequantitiesofconsumableitemsinafast-pacedsetting.(Translation:Short-ordercook.)
　　    Butwait...theresmore.Yougetallthisbusinessknowledgeplusagraspofmarketingthatissecondnature

　　Ihaveanexcellenttrackrecord,althoughIamnotahorse.

　　Myfortunecookiesaid,Yournextinterviewwillresultinajob-andIlikeyourcompanyinparticular.

　　Title:AnotherresumefromtheProfilesinExcellenceseries.

　　AlsoKnownAs:Mr.Productivity,Mr.Clever,Mr.Fix-it.

　　Trustworthyreferencesavailableuponrequest-ifIgivethemafewbucks.

　　Letsmeetsoyoucanoohandahhovermyexperience.（來源：8020人才網）